2010

Would you live like you're dying, or die to keep living?

A new year has come. Time flies. Pretty quick.

I got a feeling that 2010's gonna be a good year, 2010's gonna be a good good year. 2010 seems like it'll be a good year, at least that's what I think. It could be a well worth bumpy ride, challenging but fruitful.

Anyway, I have a couple of hopes and fears about what's coming ahead.

Lo and behold, my hopes and fears.

My first hope, to complete my A-levels with flying colours, say 3 A's? That's not too much to ask for, right? Well, with that, I'll be able to continue my journey - start my Law degree. Yes, I have already made up my mind to release myself from the notorious grasp of studying Science. And dive into a different pool of agony - studying Law.

Well, what more do you want? No matter what kind of studies will still be tormenting. Since when "studying" is associated with "fun"? It's just that different subjects bring different torments. It's still one heck of stress in the end.

Alright, next hope. The economy! Yes, hopefully the economic situation this year will be in a beautiful shape. Thus, daddy's company could generate more revenue and make bigger bucks. As a result, the path towards my degree will be smoothly laid. Yours truly will step into the legal arena in no time!

Another hope will be for myself to enjoy Law, no matter how much torment it could bring. Why do I sound like a masochist? Slash that. Anyway, many people suggest that Law is a dead boring subject, like History. But I think, Law is not a subject, but more of a survival skill.

By holding a bank of knowledge in Law, one will not be easily stepped on. People will be unable to exploit you in any form. As a matter of fact, you can manipulate any system with ease IN A GOOD WAY THAT BENEFITS EVERY MEMBER OF THE SOCIETY. Just flashing myself with a reputation of a "good" lawyer.

Alright, what about my fears?

Of course, failing my A-levels! Come on dude, although it's just 3 subjects, but it could be one heck of pain up the arse. If by any mode I failed, I'll have to go through all the sufferings again, waste more money and be humiliated for the rest of my life. I don't want to be a shame of my family or the society. We already have a Thierry Henry and a Tiger Woods.

Next up, I fear that the economic downfall will plunge deeper and never recover. Then daddy couldn't afford to grant my lavish dream of studying. And worst, I will have to be sold to India as a cheap labour! NO!

My last fear, of course, is me not loving Law. Say, what if Law is like a gazillion times worst than Science? What if I can't cope with any subjects at all? Than I'll be like a big failure. Wasting my entire time slacking and achieving nothing. And I might end up as a drunkard who sleeps on the street in the future because I failed to attain my degree.

Alas, my hopes and fears. Let's just hope that whatever I fear will never happen. But in the meantime, I do fear what I hope will never come true. Life!

Service

The kind of service we have nowadays. It's not our fault if we get all grouchy behind that chicken rice counter in the food court.

You see, the term "customer" comes from a Latin word which means king of all. Also, it was derived from a Greek word that translates the paying king. Which reminds me, it is somewhat similar to a Sanskrit word "kustumer" that means king of the tribe.

So as a king, shouldn't we like get some service that we deserve? Shouldn't we be treated with some twist of decency?

Aright, I'm just shitting you. It's not derived from any foreign terms.

But, I'm like totally serious about the service part. We should be treated more decently. After all, we are paying customers. It's like you buying a car and expecting it to run; not expecting it to start a row with you. Same case. You pay to be served; not pay to be treated like some jackass.

Anyhow, we are all humans. We are not perfect.

So the next time, be nice to the McDonald guy if you want to be treated nicely and prevent yourself from ending up with cheese burger shoved up your nose.

Customer

Attitude pretty much reflects how much of a wuss a person could turn out to be. Put yourself in this chap's pair of shoes.

Shall we let A be the customer service officer and B to be the ruthless barbarian.

A: Good afternoon sir, thank you for calling Slow Like Cow Net, how may I help you?

B: You bunch of f****** a*******, I didn't pay RM1054805102 every month to get this kind of shitty Internet connection. ****** ****** ****** ****** your mother's **** ******** hole.

A: I'm sorry sir, but may I KINDLY know what's the matter?
B: F*** YOU!!!!!

A: I'm sorry?

B: Internet slow like **** ********* **** ****** ******** *******!!!!! And now your asking me what the F*** **** ******* ******* is wrong??!!!!

A: I'm sorry sir, please calm down. Our company is currently facing some technical difficulties. But..
B: But what ***** ****** ********* ***** ****?!!!!! I can't bloody use the ******* ******* ******* *** ***** Internet for 2 hours!!! 2 F******* HOURS!!!!
A: We are already working on it sir. Service should be resumed by the next half an hour.

B: Still have to wait?! ******* ****** ****** ******* ********************** your father!!!!

A: I'm really sorry sir, I do appreciate if you use a better language and reduce on your usage of vulgarised terms.

B: What??? So you have an issue with how I use my words? What? You wanna piece of me you son of a b**** ******* ******** ****** char kuew tiao ****** Fernando Torres ****!!!

A: I'm sorry sir, but apparently my father and mother are NOT involved in this business and I do appreciate if you mind your language.

B ******** *********** ********** *********** **************!!!!!!!!!

A: I'm sorry but that's all I can help sir. Is there anything else?

B: ***** ****** *********** ************** ************ *********** ************ ************ ********* ********** ******* Manchester United SUCKS ********!!!!

A: In that case, thank you for using our service and we wish you have a nice day! Thank you for calling!

B: ... Bulls***!

Disclaimer: This is a true incident.

Well, they always say customers are never wrong, but how right are they? They are still human beings like you and me. Who died and make them king? Is it just because they pay that little penny or two?

Unfortunately, that LITTLE PENNY OR TWO does make a heck lot of difference. It DOES makes a person the king.

Cruel and cold. That is the consumer world we are living in today. This should not happen!

How often we say "thank you" to the Mamak guy who served us our roti-canai? All we say is "Dey! Mana kuah dan kari saya la?? Cepat dah!!!"

How often we say "excuse me" when we are calling for a waiter? All we do is yelp "ANEH!" "DEY!" "HELLO HELLO!!!" or make indecent cat-calls.

How often we speak politely to the waiter or manager if our food have problems? All we do is rage and curse out "****** ***** ****** ******** **** this food taste like shit! I wanna complain!"

How often we apologise to the salesgirl in the shoe store or clothes department when we try everything but bought NONE? All we do is give that snobbish look and say "don't have my size", then walk of with your butt swinging.

How often we do that? How often we respect that person who serve us? How often do we treat them like a human being?

Money is not everything. Respect IS everything.

All in all, there are however groups of morons who service people don't deserve any respect. Lousy service and lousy attitude. That shall be my next topic. Stay tuned.

Chemistry

I shall declare nullity against IUPAC and any related Chemistry field. Chemistry kills. Don't study Chemistry and drive.

17 marks down the drain. Sod it. A whole experiment wrongly plotted. Never trust tuition centre's "PREDICTED QUESTIONS". They are only capable of throwing cock and bull at you. But not potential accurate questions.

I'm a disgrace to all chemistry professionals. Sorry Mr. Peraga, I've let you down. I've ruined your dream of having a full class of A+. I need to shoot myself.

Wonder what is like when I step in MBS and redeem my results slip. Can't imagine.

Still have a paper pending. Chinese language. By all mode, I must get an A for that paper. So I'm gonna work doubly, triply, quadruply hard for that shit. Seriously, Chinese is always getting up my nerves. Never got an A in Chinese for any public examinations.

UPSR - 6A1B. Which subject caused this hideous image? Chinese composition.
PMR- 7A1B. Strike 2. Chinese.

Therefore,

Must get an A. Must get an A. Must get an A. Must get an A. Must get an A. Must get an A. Must get an A. Must get an A. Must get an A. Must get an A.

3.30

I feel like shit at 3.30a.m. I hate 3.30.

As if life isn't depressing enough when you have tonnes of Chemistry crap that have to be chewed up, you're favourite Blues just got kicked up the you-know-where by some ridiculous Arabian toys.

Yes yes, I'm talking about the Manchester City-Chelsea game. Rotten bunch of overpaid hireling mercenaries. You bunch of Nitwits just have to spoil everything up don't you?

As hard it is for me to say, but I have to bow down to the horrendous truth - Chelsea was beaten. A pretty awesome own goal by Adebayor kept the Blues in control for the first quartile of the upper half. Then the son-of-a-bulldog came around and shot pass Cech, putting the Sky Blues on term.

Tevez pumped up at the second half to give Chelsea the deathblow - a direct free kick.

If it was any other 'ordinary' defeat, I wouldn't feel so bad.

BUT, it was a dirty win!

You see, Adebayor's first goal came after Richards handled the ball drove in by Wright-Phillips. It was a Devil-damned handball! But did the referee blew for a free-kick? NOOOOOOOOO! He let play go on and resulting in the sulking Togo striker to shoot past Chelsea's net.

Case 2, Tevez.

Carvalho tried to clear the ball but Tevez came smashing his own butt into Carvalho's boots. He was innocent! All he did was rising his leg up! Good-for-nothing Tevez just had to crash himself onto the Chelsea centre-back. The referee just tyrannically flashed a yellow card at Carvalho and awarded the free-kick. Was there justice? NOOOOOOOOOOO!

And Tevez just had to score. Argentinians. Amateur.

Case 4,5,6,7,8,9....Gazilion.

Chelsea received countless yellow cards. All of the Chelsea's defender and substitute got booked. 7 or 8 cards, too pissed off to remember figures. And Man City received only ONE! Were they abiding the rules so perfectly that they don't deserve more than one booking? NOOOOOOOOOOO!

I'm dead sure Sheikh's been shoving a big sum of cash up the ref's butt. I hope he falls in the drain today. The Sheikh or the referee, doesn't matter.

Anyhow, Lampsy could have brought Chelsea back on terms via a late penalty. But did he succeed?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I hate 3.30.

Silly Patient Me

Wonder why everyone is so hyped just because SPM is coming to an end? Come on, SPM may be ending, but the world isn't, we still have tonnes of shit to face.

All right, a little layout on how life is going to be after SPM. Oh ya, and the oncoming shit.

1. Pre-U.
   College, Form 6 etc. SPM syllabus is bad enough, can't imagine what am I going to face in college. Just when I'm already getting the hang of Biology and Chemistry, I have to start all over again on some dodo-bird subjects. Hell.
2. Pre-U Final Exam
   Be it STPM, A-Levels or anything, I'm dead one million percent sure it is much more tormenting than SPM. Tensions will be rising faster than the global temperature. Leisure will be falling faster than the stock market. Double hell.
3. University
   Just when we are about to get some decent rest from schooling and exams and hitting on chicks, it's Degree time! Time to wipe our ass and face more shit. This is when hard work is directly proportional to our future paycheck. Screw this shit up and I'll continue to lead a piece of shitty life.
4. University Final Exam
   Just another period where you'll feel like travelling back in time to your kindergarten life. Potential drive for suicide if excellence is not achieved.
5. First Job
   Well, you don't expect to start off as a CEO or a CFO or a COOOOO right? Everyone gotta start off somewhere, and that somewhere is all the way below. Lowest pay, lowest title, lousiest benefits, least respect of colleagues for you. On the other hand, you'll have the MOST job to do, LONGEST working hour and the BIGGEST victim of office politics.
6. First Pay
   Yeah cool, so you've got your first pay huh? Have you forgotten about how low it is and how much you need to fork out? Rental, car installment, petrol, food, utilities, income tax, monthly mamak expenses, allowance for your mother, girlfriend's monthly gift, unemployed-and-too-lazy-to-find-a-job sibling's monthly allowance etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. In the end, bankbook only registers a RM0.59 saving every month.
7. Getting Married
   As if getting married is something free of charge.
8. Children
   This is the biggest headache. First, it cost a bomb to courier your wife to the hospital for labour. Then, diapers, milk powder, clothes, shampoo, body lotion and all sort of rots. You wished all these expenses could be claimed under 'Miscellaneous' column of your company's account.
9. Children's Education
   Ini headache lagi besar. In twenty years time, education would be so costly that I have to live on cucumbers on a daily basis for God-knows-how-long just so I can provide my kids with education so that they can lead the shitty life with abundant and redundant exams, just like what their father once went through.
10. Retirement
    Life's finally slowing down to a reasonable pace? Dream on. I have to go on worrying about my three meals (unless I continue my cucumber diet) because I haven't saved enough when I was young. No wait, I don't even have the opportunity to do so.

In the end, I'll die a hungry death. Or maybe a malnutrition-ed death. Which is the worst way to die. Even having a revolver shooting at my penis and letting me bleed to death isn't as bad as dying a hungry man.

So SPM coming to an end means suffering is following suit? Yeah right.

Shit

Definition of shit: (In terms of driving) Some piece of wood driving in a manner that irritates you and causes an urge to throw dung (preferably cow's dung) on their windscreen.

The shitty thing about shit is that it happens all the time. Yup, shit happens on the road more than your hair falls. Trust me.

Get it straight, I'm not trying to say that I'm the master of driving or some Saint of the road, but at least I follow the rules.

I know, people tend to doubt my credibility, no, not just doubt, people tend to insult my credibility as a driver of the Malaysian road. Well, to hell with them, whoever they are. I don't need you to question my way of things. Unless your paying me.

Now back to shit.

Ever tried following some jackass who's driving at approximately 15km/h on a ONE-LANE STREET? It's bad enough that I'm unable to overtake him but I had to eat his dust, dust of jealousy - it was a BMW 325i. Sod it.

That punk is so pathetic that even the frail roti-canai uncle from the mamak stall could stroll faster than him on his 30 years old bicycle. Damnation beyond mankind, it was a a BMW 325i for Heaven's sake.

A pretty long queue was built on a neighbourhood road where no cars were to be seen on normal days. I can say the hold up was worse than the crawl on MRR2.

What's the worst of all is to have an impatient old man or woman or cow or whatever shit you wanna call him behind you.

Indecent hand gestures, impatient flares and loud ignorant honking. Come on man, it's not my fault the pretty boy in front of me isn't speeding like he should. Sheesh, Malaysians. Pretty shitty.

Finally, at the junction where the road now widens, that charmingly-patient ME decided to overtake that little numb skull and give that piece of shit the famous Malaysian up-in-the-air-with-the-with-the-palm-wide-open act.

WHAT IN DEVIL'S NAME?!

That smart-aleck was actually on the phone all the while! Laughing and exaggerating mouth movements. Phony piece of crap! First, you're being impolite by hogging a one-way street, then, for us to find out you were on the phone. He deserves shit man.

Couldn't understand what happened to the basic etiquette of human being nowadays. And this is just on the road. What about other places where etiquette is more important that anything else? Whatever happened to the so-called civilisation?

Life is a shit sandwich and everyday you take another bite. - Joe Schmidt